Martial Arts and the Care of Infants

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Sidestep when they run at you weilding a toy truck.
Break fall when ten of them grab you round the ankles.
When you are all running and a child trips in your path, jump.
If you cannot land in time, and have a clear path: turn the faceplant into a roll.
When a boy comes at you with a stick, deflect, disarm and hand the stick to another boy.
When a tiny is playing in the sand and a pack of lads come bundling through with a football, take their attention towards you. If that fails, run through and ahead of them to get the little one above the headlevel of the stampede.

When faced by snotty noses, carry tissues

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